A Straight Black Man Reacts to Black Little Mermaid

Greetings, dear readers. I am the epitome of evil, the Straight Black Man with standards. In today’s article, I will chime in on Disney’s new “woke” rendition of The Little Mermaid, starring Black actress Halle Bailey (not to be confused with tragic mulatto actress, Halle Berry).

Halle Bailey as Ariel, the Black Little Mermaid

“Historical” Accuracy

Disney’s animated The Little Mermaid was one of the first VHS tapes that I owned as a child. The watered-down version of the Danish fairy tale kept me enthralled as a toddler. I did not care much about the races of the characters as a kid. Maybe this is because I was a boy. I only wanted to enjoy colorful animation, catchy songs, and the potential of a seashell slipping off. In the adult world, however, historical accuracy, even of fictional characters, is of the utmost importance.

In the actual fairy tale, the mermaid commits suicide. 

Fucking based.

Like many of the tales that Disney brought to life in animation, the story had a much darker ending. Oftentimes, these darker endings can teach children brutal life lessons. Life is not always going to be sunshine and rainbows. There is not always going to be a savior to rescue you in the end. Sometimes, you simply cannot win. Sometimes you must choose the lesser of two evils.

The new Little Mermaid, takes a different, more horrendously dark twist, however, in casting a Black actress as Ariel. This is making major waves in political discussion. On the right side of the political aisle, this is cultural appropriation and anti-Whiteness. To the political left, casting a Black girl is empowering for little Black girls. White liberals, living in their penis-shaped ivory towers far away from crabs and other big-lipped animals, can smugly claim to support diversity.

The Little Mermaid - secret hidden penis tower
The White Liberals live in the secret hidden penis tower.

The Black Little Mermaid is “Cultural Appropriation”

At the end of the day, the “cultural appropriation” argument is going to go on forever until people and peoples defend their creations for profit. This is not necessarily direct monetary profit either, but respect for the culture and people that originally devised the creations.

A Black Ariel is particularly disrespectful for two main reasons. These are the same two reasons why Black men are undesirable and why Black people will fail in almost any social situation involving other races. Firstly, our looks are radically different from other races and considered hideous. Secondly, Black people are seen as a menace, nuisance, and the lowest of the low. The Right Wing will say that the Danish origins of The Little Mermaid must be respected, but I am sure that if an Italian actress were portraying Ariel, there would be no uproar. To be honest, if a Mexican or Korean actress were portraying the titular mermaid, there would be no fuss about it either. There is only an uproar when a Black person portrays a historically White character.

The counterargument is that there would be no end of complaints if a White man were to portray John Henry. There would be complaints for sure. Even I would feel some kind of way about it for a few seconds. However, how many children worldwide know about John Henry? For all of the talk of inclusivity, it seems that actual Black folk heroes remain forgotten.

John Henry was a loser anyway when you think about it. While he beat the machine, he died doing so. He also ended up doing a bunch of work that he wasn’t paid for. No White kid would ever want to be John Henry, so that is not even a valid argument. Now that you know the real truth, Black men have nothing to be proud of in such a “hero” either.

Yes, we want that seat at the White man’s table. The White man’s ice is indeed colder and his women hotter. Blackpill fatality. At least “coonservatives” openly admit this; the so-called “woke” crowd hides behind a so-called veneer of social justice that just never will be. If I’m banned from the cookout for saying so, I couldn’t care less. The food is nasty and unhealthy, the music sucks, the women are ugly, and someone always gets shot, whether it’s from Karen calling the cops or Pookie peeling caps.

Some Brutal Blackpills

Let me hit you with a brutal factoid. Little Black girls will be more empowered by fitness programs than by sitting in front of a screen saying that a character “looks like me.” Following the party line of the Left, little Black girls won’t need to worry about being a mermaid because they will grow up to be orcas. Beyond seeing any Black character, male or female, dominate a fantasy land, I would want to see Black men and women dominate and defend their own lives.

The “Shay Butter” and “Yassss” girls can also applaud because the prince in the new Little Mermaid is portrayed by a White actor. King Triton is a Hispanic actor. There is no heterosexual Black male representation at all to be seen in this film. Black men and Black families are not winning nor are we being represented if we are barking up the tree of “fair” representation. I wonder if Sebastian the crab will be replaced by a pack of imitation crab voiced by a Thai transsexual.

Now, I have never been a parent. I have come close, but I do not have any kids at the time of this writing. I do not want to neglect the importance of children of all races being able to see themselves in a positive light or see themselves as beautiful. The song “Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid is very appropriate in this regard. Black children grow up seeing the beauty and capability that other races have and they covet it. This is just like how Ariel coveted the lifestyles of humans on land.

Like the original story of The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen, there is a blackpill for any Black person thinking that they are above water just because they appear in a traditionally European story (in which most people worldwide are not welcoming you into, I might add). In the original story, the mermaid protagonist ends up killing herself, after being pumped and dumped by the Chad prince. If history is any indicator of future trends, this is what is in store for Black liberals that think that they’ve “made it”.

Once again, I’m not trying to be the Black Conservative tap dancing for approval. Pay me like Brandon Tatum and get me a White wife (one hotter and classier than his strumpet, along with a hot Northeast Asian mistress) and I will think about it. Until then, I am the Villain, the Admiral, and I will play my role until the bitter end. Any Black Conservative that thinks that they have “made it” just because they make a few videos that mainstream White Conservatives and White Nationalists agree with proves the low IQ theories correct as well.

If you like seeing Blacks in historically White fiction, check out The Wiz featuring many great Black musicians from the Motown era. This song in particular is especially for you because you can’t win.

A Conclusion and Stratagem

In conclusion, or perhaps in “coonclusion,” I do not have any personal feelings about the Black Little Mermaid. It’s just another movie that I will not be seeing because I do not have kids to see it anyway. Political commentators need to make money, but if we are really focusing on the “greater good”, there are far more important things to think about such as potential food shortages

From the perspective of both a creator and heterosexual Black man, I would rather see Black people create and profit off of our own original characters, bearing in mind that the new live-action The Little Mermaid lines the pockets of top Disney executives. Even Black Panther was created by and lines the pockets of old White and “off-White” guys.

All of that being said, I personally do not mind working with other races. I am only speaking from the logic that I partially employ as a Black man in a White world. If I were in the shoes of the “Blackity Blacks,” I would fully apply this logic.

The takeaway here is that Black people are once again being used to create controversy. We will once again be under the crosshairs of backlash. Most importantly, we will ultimately never be accepted in a positive light by other races. Take your blackpills and accept reality for what it is.

Black man, I once told you that you will never be Tuxedo Mask. Kill your dreams of pulling Sailor Moon’s pigtails as you clap her cheeks raw. Now, you see that even Black mermaids don’t want you as a prince. They smell like fish down there anyway if it’s any consolation. If you want to have a slim chance at elevating your pitiful existence, and that is regardless of what race you are, get yourself a copy of 32 Shards of Thought by yours truly.

If you liked this tangent to political commentary, then here is some additional relevant reading: The Parable of the Prom Night White Girls.