Saturday (January 9th, you’re probably reading this much later) was a day off from work, or rather, “enforced hang out and overhear a bunch of loud foreigners.” I truly look forward to the day that real work can finally begin. Today was not really a day off though, as I had to hustle and look for an apartment. Getting a pad will put me one step closer to realizing my goals here in China, that is if they are attainable in the first place.
I called up an old friend on the trap phone provided by my company since she said that she would help me out. After years of using a smartphone, going back to a Nokia was tough. It took me a while to figure out which buttons to press after being spoiled by touchscreen technology. Since she was busy with work and would call me back later, I decided to go for a stroll and explore my immediate surroundings.
This is when I ran into a person that I will call “The Ten-Yuan Faggot.”
Waiting to cross Tianhe Lu, a young man approached me to strike up a conversation. This is something that I would have expected in Panyu, but I have come to realize that here in foreigner-infested Tianhe, people are not so interested in talking to a Black guy. This approach was a surprise, and a change from a dull existence that I had been enduring since the first day of training and foreigner meet-and-greet bullshit began.
The faggot asked if I was from South Africa, to which I responded with an apology since I am from America. Maybe this brokeback was looking for some authentic “BBCs mayne” from the Motherland. He went on to say how he is very interested in foreigners, and believes that Americans are fashionable and good-looking.
I disagreed, noting the landwhales, slobs, and hell, even Black people knowing that the majority of Asians find us to be hideous. It was just one of those days that I felt like fucking with people (pause on that, of course).
His response was to tell me that I am handsome, with my big eyes (I thought that he was going to say dick, honestly). I told him that I wish that Chinese women would say the same things, to which he responded that he knows that Chinese women like foreigners.
“White foreigners,” was my rebuttal, channeling the hate from a Loser Laowai video that I had watched the other day, and the Old Admiral.
The Cantonese queer stated that he disagreed, and now it became my mission to prove to him that Chinese people hate Black people, and that there is no such thing as equality. If Amazon Kindle were accessible here, I would have given him a link to Might is Right.
The conversation continued, and he talked about how he ran away from home (maybe for being gay) and how he was “hungry to death.”
The personal development author side of me came out, and I told him how important it was for a man to be able to pay his own way. I gave him ten RMB, after which he thanked me and was gone in a flash.
The guy may or may not have been an actual faggot. His compliments about my looks made me think that he was queer, and his gay-ass voice did nothing to defend against that belief, but he might not have actually been a fag.
The Takeaway
This was probably similar to one of those tea house scams that was common a few years ago in China, but similar to new strains of malware, the crafty Chinese has resorted to a new form of separating foreigners from their money. This guy buttered me up (no homo) to lower my defenses and extract money from me. I don’t mind being down ten quai; that’s like a buck and a half, and I got entertainment out of the engagement (pause).
A person with less experience in China may have been taken to an expensive restaurant and left to fit the bill. There is a possibility that they may have also ended up with a dick up their ass.
Protect yourself at all times when you come to China.