How Black Guys are the “Nice Guys” of Society

Black men have a reputation in the media for being hypermasculine (or at least we did a few years ago; it seems like every Black man on TV outside of sports these days is a faggot), but anyone with eyes can see that we are not the dominant masculine force on this planet. I hate to sound as if I am drowning in negativity, but outside of small niches of generally less-attractive women, the thought of hooking up with a Brotha dries up a non-Black woman’s cooch like a Swiffer mop.

One of the sad Black nice guys

This post isn’t really about dating, but our poor prospects in the dating market are likely a byproduct of the greater issue that I hope to address. Despite everyone seeing us as wild, untamed beasts, Black men are actually the “nice guys” of global society. This theory applies to nearly every aspect of life, and I am not talking down to any Brotha reading this since much of it applies to myself, past and present, as well.

We Expect to Get Somewhere Playing by the Rules

Sure, the real “ruggish-thuggish” Black folks might actually live up to the criminal depictions of the media, but the average Black man that just wants to find a job or start a business probably goes out of their way to come off as “good.” Not wanting to be judged by members of other races, we stick to the laws and don’t take chances, knowing that we do not have safety nets. White guys, and to a lesser extent Latinos, and others get to be real “bad boys” and are rewarded for it, while Black men that try to do the same face twenty-five to life.

Those of us that manage to escape being caught up in the system tend to straightedge ourselves to a degree that makes us even less attractive to women and less capable of competition. We live our lives being scrutinized, under the watchful eyes of others waiting for us to slip, often by the same people that indulge themselves in the pleasure that we would be considered evil for. Other races have read Might is Right, it seems.

We Expect to Get Somewhere Doggedly Pleasing Others

This concept ties in with the first point that I made. Just like the nice guy that tries to please the woman of his dreams with showers of compliments, gifts, and non-threatening behavior, Black folks have tried to “coon” our way into the good graces of other races. Whether it be the classical relationship between Blacks and Whites featuring “house niggers” that proclaim their love for “Massa,” or the more modern example of trying to ally with “People of Color” that don’t give a damn about Black people and are given proper rewards for sucking up to or allying with White people, this pattern has repeated itself for centuries. Just like the nice guys, we are left alone crying and jacking off, not getting what we bargained for.

It has been my philosophy that if people are going to hate me anyway, then I might as well just be an asshole. It is my belief that many unscrupulous segments of the Black community have this same belief, but the difference is that I believe in tempering it to achieve goals if at all possible, rather than wanton destruction that is often aimed at one’s own group or self.

We Desperately Seek the Approval of Others

This is something that I have been guilty of in the past, and given that I am into Northeast Asian women rather than Sistas, something that I am arguably still guilty of. Nice guys desperately want to fit into society, but their awkwardness does not allow them to. They go overboard and end up enslaving themselves to the so-called norms of society. In the end, they are never truly accepted, and worse yet, they do not accept themselves.

Throughout history, Black people have striven to change our appearances to fit in with other races. While I disagree with some Afrocentric beauty standards (fatness of women in particular), the truth of the matter is that even with a conk or a weave, other races still see us as niggers. Asians might be able to get double eyelid surgery and pop in some blue contacts to be accepted (which is debatable; some that I talk to say that they are being used, although it’s not my problem, at least not directly), Hispanics can drop the accent when it isn’t considered sexy or appropriate, but Black folks are only harming ourselves and making others richer to no avail.

Worse off is the “c00nservative,” the Black person that votes Republican or hoops and hollers for Donald Trump to fit in with the dominant White society. I am not saying that Black people need to vote Democrat either; Black liberals are also part of this problem. My point is that one should vote for their own interests, not to try to fit in and get a watermelon-flavored Scooby Snack. It’s 2016, and you’re not even going to get that these days, kid.

Beyond the realm of voting is that of the mind. Some Black folks are so far gone that they will agree with anything that White people will say, just to get approval that will never truly come. If you thought that White-worship out here in China was off the chain, then you haven’t seen anything. At least Xiao Pei gets the White dick she wants and maybe a green card to the USA if she’s lucky; Black folks with their noses up White people’s asses are “lucky” to even get a fat chick or verbal praise as “one of the good ones” [that we will throw into the oven a few minutes after we deal with this general Negro problem].

People Hate it When We Stand Up

Back in my hardcore nerd days, gaming was my way of life. When I stopped playing games and started working out, my friends wanted to discourage me, and wanted me to continue being the guy ready to hop on the server at any time for a scrim. As I have continued to try to improve my lot in life, more and more people have shown their scorn towards my endeavors.

Some of this is to be expected by anyone given the nature of competition over limited resources. Also, success can indeed breed jealousy, despite my success being limited. This is one of the arguments given by figures in the Alt-Right, and I agree with them, but things are even worse for Black men. We have been down so long, just like the nice guys, that society has almost dictated that it is our role to be failures and be happy with our lots in life. Anyone that dares to try to be dominant, or anyone that fires back at members of other races or society at large is told that they should keep in their place. Floyd Mayweather is a prime example of this.

Floyd Mayweather is Black

We all know what the solution is: bossing up, having the power to protect and project ourselves as others do, and not giving a fuck, particularly when few have given a fuck about us. The question is if we are capable of doing these things at this time. If not, then I will have to quote another YouTuber in saying that we are “better off dead” since nature and our competitors are going to get around to taking us out, or we will continue to wallow in misery, which is no way to exist, at least in my opinion.

Oh yeah, and Happy Black History Month.

  • It’s Shaun!!!

    There is a LOT of truth to this. I never thought about us as being designated as “the nice guy” but I am guilty of a lot of these traits.

    >We Expect to Get Somewhere Playing by the Rules

    I dealt with this my first time in Korea and when I went back home to the states. It wasn’t until I read “Manhood” by Terry Crews and later being introduced to Danger & Play and Bold & Determined that I am NOT to play by the rules led by society. Bishop TD Jakes talks about this in this sermon:

    >We Expect to Get Somewhere Doggedly Pleasing Others

    Pleasing others was a MASSIVE chore and I was often unhappy. These days, I don’t care about pleasing Koreans, Americans, my family or people of other nationalities. I’m the happiest i’ve been in a LONG time.

    >We Desperately Seek the Approval of Others

    This was possibly my worst trait (next to being a major fuccboi/cuck) prior to my mindshift. When I started uploading videos on YouTube in 2013, I was desperate for clicks and views and for my “friends” to look at what I do. Now when I upload a video, I just link it and move on. If people watch it, cool. If not, cool. I’m not going to fret over if someone watches it or not. Outside of making movies, I often tried to get people to pay attention to me. I think all stems from being overlooked and overshadowed growing up and it just stuck with me.

    >People Hate it When We Stand Up

    Before I left Korea the first time, I was “backed” into a corner by an admin because of an issue. She expected me to sit there and take it but I fought back with my words. She knew I knew if I did “something” she would call the police and that would be the end of that. I still stood my ground and she did nothing.

    Back at home, I tried to move to a different department at this TV station. My boss was pissed because I was trying to get out of production. Production is the LOWEST of the low at a TV station. I am degreed with experience and she was upset that I was trying to leave a $7.45/hr position. Sure enough, when I did the try out to move up, the people gave me a difficult task that had no clarity. I did it and apparently “failed”. Like a “good boy”, I stayed in production and kept trying to reach that brass ring before I said “eff this” and left.

    Now that i’m back in Korea with a new mindset and new objectives, I feel as strong as I have EVER felt before.

    Great read, I am sharing this!

    • Thanks for the comment. I’ll check this video out when I get a chance.


  • IWantMyAnimeBack

    Personally, I don’t give a damn about what other people think about me especially strangers or those outside of my immediate family and friends.

    I don’t even try to impress my immediate family or friends. My moral compass is so that I don’t negatively affect myself and others.

    When I was a kid I tried to please everyone, but now I have a I don’t give a fuck attitude when it comes to how people view me. This does not mean that I act recklessly and do not empathize with others.

  • IWantMyAnimeBack

    I can definitely resonate with people not wanting you to grow. It makes sense, they want you to remain who they are comfortable with, who they are friends with etc.

    But there are friends who encourage your growth and can grow with you or at least maintain the friendship otherwise.