I have been paying attention to quite a few people in the “incel community,” and they seem to have quite a few things in common. These guys post embarrassing and self-degrading videos, and waste hours of their lives posting on forums about how it is impossible for them to get laid. In the meantime, there are guys with the very same issues that they talk about, such as height, race, skin conditions, balding, and so on that are out there getting laid.
Of course, not fitting the standards of god-tier physical attractiveness will make it more difficult than the textbook “Chad Thundercock,” but it is still possible to score out there in the Game. This is a lesson that I had to learn, slowly reducing the amount of self-degradation that I subjected myself to in order to get on the path of self-improvement.
I realized that my geeky, nerdy nature was not attractive to women. The advice that I got in high school, to “be myself,” was not very effective, at least the way that I interpreted it. I kept doing the same thing, remaining the same way, approaching the same way, just being myself. I believe that it was Einstein that stated, and I paraphrase, that doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity; or at least this saying, like many others, is attributed to him.
There are ways that we can be ourselves and still find success in the Game. I have been writing some ideas here on this blog that can be used to improve our results; they worked for me at least. Other ideas are presented in 32 Shards of Thought. Here are a few critical things that you might want to focus on:
Get into Shape
I have said this time and again, and it is worth saying again. Start hitting the gym, and do so with the purpose of improving your overall health and physique. The benefits of a regular exercise routine will work wonders. You are still being yourself; you are simply improving yourself to present a better you.
Diversify Your Interests
A lot of people that have trouble with girls have nerdish interests. It could be Star Wars, anime, video games, or other geekish endeavors that their lives revolve around. There are women out there that like these things too. There are men that get away with liking these things while still getting women too (they tend to have great genetics that women desire or come from a very well-to-do background). The average gamer geek with an Xbox controller in one hand, a Mountain Dew in the other, and Cheetos residue in their unkempt facial hair probably doesn’t fit the bill.
The real problem is that these nerdish activities tend to lead us to live isolated lives where we do not experience the world or develop strength. Most women are not going to want a man, or man-child, rather, that only knows about video games and Goku’s various transformations. Even geeky anime nerd chicks that I have been with wanted a man that leaned more towards traditional masculinity: strength, experience, ability, and prestige.
You can still hold on to your nerdy hobbies, but you do not want to be defined by them. As stated above, if you can improve yourself, your mind, body, status, and if it pleases you, soul, then you can get away with showing your nerdy side sometimes, especially to nerdy women, but lay off of the sci-fi jokes. That is not the type of humor that you want to incorporate into most of your dates.
By pursuing other interests, you will have more to talk about and connect on with others, including women that you may be dating or trying to date. Exposing your mind to new things may make you quicker on the draw too. Spontaneous or situational humor tends to work a whole lot better than anime jokes, at least in my experience.
Stop Putting Yourself Down
This might be the most important thing that an incel can do. The world already wants to put you down, so why do it to yourself? Instead, you should be trying to build yourself up every day. Of course, saying that you are royalty when you are still struggling working a part-time job is unrealistic, but trying to improve yourself in all aspects of life every single day, taking small steps towards your goals is a better usage of your time than whining or self-degradation.
The more that you improve and the more results that you see come to fruition, the more confidence that you will naturally develop. Life throws us punches, and we will probably fall, relapsing into our old ways. This is alright as long as we get back up and push to make our lives better.
The Bottom Line
Incels that are serious about wanting to get laid and wanting to better themselves need to start the journey of self-improvement today. The road will indeed be more difficult for some, for better or worse, but it is a journey that must be taken to get the desired results. In essence, we will always be ourselves, but by building on our strengths and acquiring new ones, we are becoming upgraded versions of ourselves.